Getting Frustrated With Myself

Hey guys! So I really do suck, right? For any of you that actually follow my blog and specially to the ones that follow by twitter and saw my money tweets promising new content I apologize. I haven’t been on my blog for a while AGAIN and I’m actually pissed of at myself because I should really do better than this.

This time around I don’t really think it’s worth it for me to try to justify my absence since that’s what I usually do and then go back into hiding. I have been having a hard time lately – which I’ve discussed before – with feeling really depressed and there are some days where I just can’t even get out of bed and barely speak. However, I don’t want to use that as an excuse because I promised not only myself but you (my followers) that I would do better and be consistent and I’m failing…miserably.

It makes me incredibly angry because I love blogging and this isn’t a situation where I’m just a lazy asshole that doesn’t want to actually do this. I have so many ideas, goal and even half done drafts of blog posts. Unfortunately, I haven’t been on the greatest state of mind and it sucks. I feel like I’m letting you down and also disappointing myself! I want to be a good blogger/writer and I also want to do many other things that I haven’t even started and it’s my own fault! That’s the worst part to be completely honest, that I’m aware that I have no one else to blame but myself.

A while ago I wrote a post talking about my Personal Goals For The End Of The Summer where I discussed my desire to start a weight loss journey, get a job and better my mental health. It’s October now – summer is behind us – and I hate to tell you that I have not accomplished or even half accomplished anything on that post. I’m getting in my own way and I don’t know what to do about it. People in my “real life” haven’t been very helpful before and I don’t want to get disappointed by asking for help again.

So here I am at 18:30 pm writing this post to get all of this out of my chest. I’m not going  to make a huge post telling you everything that has happened to leave me in this state of mind because I don’t want to come of as a whiny girl but also it’s not even worth it. I know this post is not making a lot of sense but I’m just writing as things come to me and sometimes that’s just what you need.

As the title of this post says, I’m frustrated. Incredibly frustrated in fact. I’ve wasted my all gap year from school doing pretty much nothing but stay at home crying about everything that is wrong with my mind and now here I am. I’m going into my second – unplanned and unwanted – gap year and feeling lonely as hell. I got no one else but myself to blame for that though.

I’m now, as I’m writing this, also sending a few resumes to a couple of places. That’s good. I do believe that, maybe, getting a job will help be get off of my own head for a while and be distracted/busy most of the day. That’s what I need but unfortunately did not work on it sooner.

To finish this of I just want to say thank you to any of you for sticking around while I’m this big mess and hopefully next week I’ll have a better post to give you!

Thank you for reading x

What I’ve Learned From Blogging This Summer

Hey guys! Wow it feels like such a long time since my last post. I do want to start by saying how sorry I am that I kind of disappeared. Not only did I not post – after telling you I’d post three times a week – but I was also not active on any of my social media accounts.

I do not want to go into a deep explanation of what happened because it is somewhat complicated. However, the shortened version is that I was having a tough time in my personal life,my depression started to get the best of me and I honestly did not feel like doing ANYTHING. This isn’t an exaggeration or anything, I legit did not feel like getting out of bed during the all day and I did not do anything productive for the last month or so, which is deeply sad to me because now summer is over and I have not completed any of my summer goals that I talked about on a previous post.

Things are not resolved or anything but I am now trying to get better and get myself together.

Anyways, at first I thought of making a post kind of venting about everything – which I did start writing but never finished – however I decided that I wanted to stop thinking about all the things that happened and so I decided to write this post about all the things I’ve learned on my first summer as a blogger.

I have talked about my two previous blogs and how much they failed because I was not dedicated enough at the time, so with this blog it almost feels like a first time which was very interesting to me.

I’m sure there by the end of the year I’ll look at this post and think about a trillion other things I’ve learned since, but for now here’s everything I have learned from my experience as a blogger this summer:

Blog Followers Don’t Mean Much

I have almost 70 blog followers now, but one thing that I have learned is that those are not 70 guaranteed readers when I post something new. Some people follow your blog because you followed first and they are just returning the favor or because they want you to follow them back, but they are never really active on your page. Having a certain number of followers on your blog will not mean you will have more likes/comments on your posts than someone with less followers.

Promoting Is Important…But It’s Not Everything

The most important way to get people to visit your blog is to promote your work. Most of us do so by using Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest. That is incredibly important if you want other people to discover your posts. However, it is not everything. You can spend an all week promoting your writing, but if your posts are not interesting or good in any way then reader will click off after reading two sentences. Focus on your content first and how you will get people to read it second!

Do Not Overwork Yourself

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I said a while back that I was going to do three posts a week on The 20 Year Old Mess. I wrote a all post about it. However, I was only able to do so for a single week! I thought that I was going to be able to do since I am unemployed and “have the time” but I just ended up stressing myself about it. The biggest thing that I have learned is that I need to be more realistic when it comes to the direction of this blog and what I want to do.

You Don’t Need To Have A Determined Day To Post

Having a set day to have a post up on your blog is a way to keep everything organized but, for some of us, it’s also a way to unnecessarily stress us out. I do think, if you want to have a somewhat active blog, you should definitely post once a week or so, but it does not have to be on a single day. If you are working on a post and think it isn’t perfect or it needs something else, then it’s fine to just work on it more the next day and just post when you are happy with what you wrote. Otherwise you will just be posting because you have to and not because you want to.

It’s Okay To Take A Break

Sometimes things become too much and you need a break? That’s okay. For a lot of people blogging is a job but that does not mean you have to be miserable while doing it. If you need a break every now and then, that only means you’ll come back with a fresh mind and more ideas.

Don’t Do Something Just Because Others Are Doing It

Blogging can be hard. When I started this blog in June I read so many different posts about what to do and what not to do. Some of them were helpful but other’s not so much. What worked out for this and other person might not work out for you! Don’t get me wrong, it is important to get advice sometimes, specially when you are first starting out, but don’t let what other bloggers do completely determine the direction of your own blog.

I know this was a really short post, but now that I’m back I just want to slowly get my groove back. Next week I’ll have a post up that I have been working on for a while now.

Have a great rest of a weekend xx

My Two Failed Blogs

Hello guys! Cannot believe it’s already Tuesday and it’s time for another blog post. Before I go into today’s topic, I do have a question for you: Do you like this new blogging schedule? I told you on my post Blog Updates & Goals that from now on I would be posting three posts each week, each one relating to a different category. However, I want to know if you think that is a good plan or if it’s too much? Let me know in the comments below!

So today I thought I told you about my two failed blogs and what exactly I did that made them a failure. I wish both of them were still up, but unfortunately I’ve already deleted one of them. The other is in Portuguese but I’ll link it later on in the post and translate a bit of what I wrote in there.

When Did I Create Them

My first blog was on Tumblr, which I know is not the most popular platform for an actual blog. I created it sometime in 2013 – when I was 14/15 years old – and I wrote in English. This is the blog I have already deleted. The account on itself is still there but when I decided to not write in there anymore I deleted all of the posts so it’s empty. Since I never deactivated the account completely I can tell you the name. For some reason, at 15, I thought The Girl From The Background was a good name. It’s not.

The second blog was created on a more popular blogging platform, Blogger. This blog – titled Words From A Broken Home – was created in June of 2015, which means I was still 16 since I would only be 17 in September. As you might be able to tell by the name, I created this blog when I was in a though moment in my life, specially involving my family. None of that is, in any way, 100% solved at this point but in 2015 I was not able to handle things like I do right now, so it was a darker moment for me.

What Did I Post About

As I said earlier in this post, I already deleted everything involving my short-lived blog on Tumblr, so I cannot show you anything from there.

Thankfully, the second blog is still up. In this blog I only ever posted three times and they were all very short posts. As you might be able to see from the dates, I only used it for 3 days! The first ever post is called “Crazy Day” in which I talk very briefly about what happened that day. It’s about the time a girl I had just met that day went into an alcoholic coma. It happened when I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and that girl came with one of them. We were drinking a bit – which obviously we were not old enough to do and it was super dumb – and me and a few other people were aware that she was going too far but she didn’t really care. Anyways, that was a really scary experience and one that, at that time, made me actually reflect on a lot of things happening around me, including one of my friends at the time that we were all really worried about.

Here’s a quote (translated) from the post:

Already thought many times in calling her to the side and talk to her but I don’t think I would be a great help, mainly because I’m not in the best state of mind either.

I then wrote about my parents going their separate but I don’t think it’s worth it for me to translate my thoughts on the mater since they have since gotten back together and I do want to write about it now.

The last post, ironically, is about how I really liked posting about my thoughts on things and how I was enjoying having the blog.

Here’s what I wrote:

In a weird way I’m enjoying writing here. I’m never going to tell anyone I know that I have this blog because my only goal with it is to organize my thoughts and have a way to open up to others without it being in “real life”.

That actually has not changed. I haven’t told anyone in “real life” about the existence of The 20 Year Old Mess.

Why They Failed

The failure of both blogs is honestly the same: I was not ready.

This might sound weird but I truly believe you need to be ready, in many ways, when creating and committing to posting on I blog.

First of all, you have to put in work on blogging. You have to promote it so people even remotely know you exist. I did none of that, I legit created this blogs and that was it. I wrote every now and then and expected people to magically find the blogs. Of course, that’s not how it works.

This lead me to, specially with the first blog, get really frustrated and start to think it was not worth it because no one cared. To sum it up: I was an idiot.

Not only that, but a lot was going on in my personal life that I did not know how to handle.

I was writing about some personal stuff, which I also plan on doing in this blog, but at that time things were ever-changing and I was struggling. I did not know what was happening, what should I do and if honestly I could take it. I’ve talked about how I do have anxiety and suffer from mental illness and at that point in my life things were getting really hard and I was trying to pretend like they weren’t, specially in front of others.

Because of that I would get home and feel so tired, I was genuinely emotionally drained and I just could not bring myself to get up and write about anything, even if I tried to write about “lighter” things.

I just gave up both times.

What Changed Now

Simple. I’m just ready! I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes it is difficult. I still struggle with just wanting to lie in bed, forget about the world and do nothing sometimes.

However, now I’m willing to try to, even if I fail, I won’t just give up completely and pretend the blog does not exist. I’ll just start again for the next post.

I cannot promise you this blog will be perfect, there might be weeks I won’t be able to post and it will be hard for me. This time around I won’t just quit though. I won’t have a third failed blog!

xx

I Was Forced To Go To The Cinema – aka The Birthday Privileges

Happy Sunday! I’m actually really excited to write this post and even more excited to have completed my first week with the new posting schedule I told you about on my post about Blog Updates. As I had imagined it was a bit of a push for me to write three posts this week, but I’m sure I’ll warm up to it. I’m just excited to bring you more and more content now!

So for this Sunday’s Movie Talk there were a few things I considered writing about, including my favorite movies of all time, most anticipated upcoming releases and my guilty pleasures. Those posts are all, most likely, still going to happen but this time I decided to write about all the times I was “forced” into watching a movie and if it ended up being worth it in the end.

Now, obviously no one can force me to pay for a ticket and go to the cinema but all the movies included on this list were not films I have planned on watching, but – for a different number of reasons – I ended up having to sit down and pay to watch them. So let’s take a look at all of the reasons why I did not stay home these days.

The Birthday Privileges

I don’t know about you but me and a lot of my friends always had this unspoken rule that,, if it was your birthday, you had the right to choose what we would do. Going to the cinema always ended up being one of the planned activities and – of course – the decision of which movie to watch was also given to the person that was getting older that day.

Twilight mOVIES.jpgThanks to this rule, however, I had to watch the first and the two final Twilight movies. All of them for a different persons birthday I believe. Now, not to be a hater because Twilight was huge at the time, but the series was just not my thing. At all. Somehow I still had to watch three of those movies with my own money. I got to witness that stupid final when that one girl, whose name I won’t search just for the purpose of this sentence, had the vision of that somewhat cool fight but it turns out that’s all that it was: a freaking vision. Not only that but during Breaking Dawn Part 1 there’s the wedding and that silly montage of all of their happy moments on the honeymoon, because why the hell not. During that part of the film the long-awaited – for the fans – bedroom scene between Bella and Edward happened and I had to witness a 16-year-old sitting behind me yell “hell yeah, he could break my bed” and I haven’t been the same since.

Alright, I’m exaggerating. Those movies were silly but at least somewhat fun. That baseball scene is a classic.

The birthday rule is also the one to blame for me having to pay to watch such masterpieces as The Secret Life Of Pets, a few Adam Sandler movies and Annabelle or any other basic horror movie whose definition of horror is a cat jumping out of nowhere or some other silly jump scare.

To be fair, not all of them were awful. I also ended up watching both Conjuring movies at the cinema thanks to this rule and I really enjoyed them – specially the second one.

I also watched the last movie from the Hobbit trilogy at the cinema for a friend’s birthday. However, that one gave me a little more of work. In 2014, when the last came out, I had never watched a single Lord Of The Rings movie, let alone the first two films from the Hobbit. I still accept to go with my friend and see The Battle Of The Five Armies but she insisted that I should only go if I watched the other five movies, otherwise she wouldn’t mind going by herself. Image result for lord of the rings movies in order

Now, I’m actually a bit stupid. We planned this 2 weeks or so in advance but instead of watching one movie a day with no rush – since they are all more than two hours long – I kept postponing watching the five films on my free time. That decision lead the to have to spend an all day – the day before we were going to the cinema – watching the five movies in one sitting. That amounts to a little less than 13 hours and a half of movies.

I am glad I watched all of them because I obviously was able to understand the events of the last a lot better and I did enjoy all of them. I have re-watched the two trilogies since then however and I did like them a lot more the second viewing because I did not rush myself to see all of them in one day.

Also, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy is definitely superior to the Hobbit trilogy. Thank you.

Mia Wasikowska in Crimson Peak (2015)
Still From Crimson Peak

I also remember watching Crimson Peak at the cinema with some friends, but to be completely honest I’m not 100% sure if that was for someone’s birthday. What I do remember from that day is me sitting next to one of the girls in the group and having whine that the movie sucked the all time. She kept saying that the movie was not scary enough – probably waiting for that cat I told you about – ever though we told her the movie was not really horror but more of a thriller. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is not the greatest and it’s definitely not Guillermo Del Toro’s best work but it’s still really enjoyable and I did not get the chance to enjoy it as much as I could the first time I watched it.

What was the worst movie you had to watch because your friends wanted to? And what movie did you make your friends watch that ended up being awful?

xx

Sex Ed SUCKS

All you need to know to understand my frustration with sex education in school is that I had ONE class in 9th grade or something – it was so not helpful that I don’t even remember when it was exactly – and that class was only one hour or so.

Before I go into all of my problems with Sex Ed (not the idea of it, but the way it is) I’d like to say that I was actually working on a different post for this Friday. That post will still be posted, probably next Friday, but I want to talk about this first. Also, I want to remind some of you that I’m from Portugal and I can only speak from my experience here and specially in the school I was in. However, this is a subject I’ve seen a lot of people, from many different places, complain about so I’m sure most of you will be able to somewhat relate to the problems I have with this.

I believe most of us can agree that sex education is incredibly important and that it is something that should exist in every single school. I genuinely believe it’s important to educate the youth about sex  and everything that comes with it – from contraceptives to the possibility of STDs. It should all be talked about and discussed with the class.

Well, there brings me to my first issue and one of the biggest failures of sex education (besides the fact that it should be more than a few classes which seems to be the what most people have). It’s so incomplete and uninformative. I don’t know about you, but let me tell you about y case. During that one and only class my school gave us, we barely talked about anything we didn’t already know or that was highly important to inform us about. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is important to talk about how birth control works and how to put on a condom. It is also necessary to teach young people to prevent STDs and all that. But sex education is not just about that. There are so many things that should be talked about but instead we focus on more “basic” stuff.

Also, one of the things I’ve learned – from videos and reading a bunch of articles online – when I grew up is that STDs are actually surprisingly common. Now I’m not saying you should not try and prevent them from happening to you, what I am saying is that they were treated like this demon who would kill you by the woman that gave us the sex ed class. It was always said how evil and dangerous they are – which is fair – but what to do in case you do get one was never brought up. How serious each one is was never discussed. It always kinda sounded like “If you have unprotected sex you either get pregnant or get a horrible std so either use a condom or don’t have sex”. A piece of advice on what to do and how it not the end of the world – in some cases – if you do get and STD never happened.

Please understand I’m not defending unprotected sex – trust me! What I am saying is more that accidents happen. There’s not a contraceptive that works 100% so we should also learn what to do in the case that it does not work.

The Huffington Post wrote a few words about this that I recommend you look at to know a little bit more.

Rainbow pride flag flying in the daytime breezeSex education should also be more inclusive. At the time of that class I was still struggling a bit with my sexuality so the fact that only a heterosexual relationship was used to drive the conversation did not help at all. I think it is important to also talk about lgbt+ relationships. Not only because it’s equally as important for anyone in the community to be informed and know what to do and not to do at a young age, but also – in a way – that lack of inclusion only makes us feel like we are not the “norm” or even remotely “normal”. That’s how my confused mind felt at the time at least.

By including the lgbt+ community in that conversation and educating teens about it we would be normalizing those relationships. Because that’s what they are: normal.

When I started to think back to that class there was one thing that came to mind – Consent. The importance of knowing and respecting consent was not talked about of brought up for even a single second.

Now, I’m not going to try to teach you – mostly young adults that read my blog – what consent is. We should all know it by now. No means no and a lack of response isn’t a yes.

The thing is I was around 14/15 when I had my sex ed class – again I cannot recall when this happened, no matter how hard I am trying – and a few of my classmates were already in relationships at that time. I cannot obviously tell you about their sex life but what matters is that at that age it’s when we usually start to create relationships and many different discoveries and having our firsts and  bla bla bla. By that time there should be at least one sex education class completely dedicated to consent and how important it is to know how to recognize it, express it and/or accept it. Also, discuss how you should never expect someone to sleep with you no matter the circumstances. It doesn’t matter if you are dating or if the first time the answer was  yes. No means no.

Last but not least, I also think the class should be more interactive in the sense that questions would be welcomed and a well-informed answer would be given. Maybe even have a discussion with the rest of the students about it. Now, this might just be something that happened with my teacher – hopefully yours was better. From that one hour class we only had the last five minutes to ask questions, which ended up only being time for two questions that were answered in a rush. Also, there was a classmate that asked the teacher if she could ask her question in private, even if in another time. She was denied. I thought that was really stupid. The girl probably thought the question was embarrassing or maybe it was something personal that she did not want to tell to the all classroom and the woman was there to supposedly help us and she ended up not helping at all to be honest.

What was your experience with sex education in school? Was it better or worst than mine?

Do you think there are other things I missed, that should be talked about during sex ed? If so, what?

Happy Friday guys, hope you have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Sunday’s post! x

I Spent One Hour On Ome.TV

Happy Tuesday and welcome to my brand new series! I’ve decided to start my first ever series on this blog where I’ll spend a certain amount of time trying something new or experiencing a new app/website. Any post that will be a part of this series will have a tittle similar to “I Spent ____ (x amount of time) On ____”. I’m really excited about this and I hope you’ll enjoy reading this stories.

unnamedTo start the series I actually wanted to go to Omegle, even though I have used it before. That website was the entertainment of the 7th graders in my school. However, 5 minutes into using Omegle (only text conversation) someone pretty much just advertised the existence of Ome.TV as it being the “adult version” of Omegle. I found that incredibly hilarious since anyone that has ever used the original site knows there’s plenty of adult content in there. Still, I decided to use it because from my little revisit of Omegle I noticed that it’s full of bots and people advertising many different other type of websites or even their social media accounts.

A big difference with this version is that you cannot use a “text only” option to talk with other strangers. You are forced to video chat otherwise it does not allow you to initiate a chat. You turn on your camera, select your gender ( the only options available are female male and couple in case it’s two people using it at the same time ) and your preference of country – as in where do you want people you’ll talk to be from – although that does not quite work out. You can only choose one country or choose worldwide but when you only select one country people from other places pop up anyway.

downloadYou can type out instead of talking though, which is what I decided to do. I did not have the sound on and just wrote during the conversation because I felt more comfortable that way.

For a while I tried to cheat a little bit and didn’t have the camera pointed at my face but I quickly realized that would not work out. Most people just moved on and clicked to stop the conversation. So I decided to restart and this time around actually show my face.

I’ll be honest with you, I was nervous even if I’m not sure why. Either way I knew I needed to do it so I could at least take something out of this.

Oh I forgot to mention! I did this when I was bored at 4am! So I decided to use this site during one of my terrible insomnias…as you might imagine by now this was probably not the greatest time to give this a shot.

Anyways so I started over and this time my face was on full view. My worries about my visible double chin, how I dislike seeing myself with glasses and the fact that I looked like I haven’t slept in three days raced to see which one bothered me the most. I’d like to tell you that I’m a confident woman, but that would be lie. Obviously I was not excited to have guys masturbate on camera but having them click “next” in 0.2 seconds like I was the ugliest thing they have ever seen was not a pleasant thought either.

That did happen and I kinda wanted to stop everything right there because it seemed like I was only able to find 3 types of people: the ones that clicked away so fast you’d think they saw a monster, the ones that I was good-looking enough to see their dicks and 12-year-old boys trying to pretend they were at least 16. This site was clearly not helping my self-confidence.

I carried on though. I promised myself that I would stay for an hour, so I just kept thinking that even if I did not meet anyone remotely normal – *spoiler alert* I didn’t meet anyone normal – I could at least right one really disappointed blog post about it!

There were a few that actually were able to have a real conversation. For approximately two freaking sentences. First of all, 80% of the men that actually did try to talk to me were triple my age which EWWW. Also, all of the guys I did talk to were only really talking to me to lead it to the same place the ones masturbating on camera were. They just first said hello.

The two longest conversations I had were also, in retrospective, the most hilarious. Let’s name the guys – since I genuinely do not recall their names – John and Will. The two most basic male names to ever exist. Sorry Carl.

imagesFirst we had John. Oh dear John…what I mess. So this guy started of okay with the always used “hey, how are you?” and “where are you from?” which were a breath of fresh air considering right before I briefly had to look at a 80-year-old penis.

John was not gonna stop there though. Of course not. He thought that after that it was a great idea to ask me what type of underwear I was using. Now let me tell you something, I know initially I was not enjoying the idea of having to show my face but in that moment I realized there was something good about it. Every time I rolled my eyes or showed any signs of being done with what the guys on the site would say they could see it. They would know I think they are idiots. I did decide to respond with “none of your business” because I wanted to keep the conversations going as long as I could. I was on the mission of getting blog content okay! At that point you’d think the guy would either move on or just insist. He did neither. John thought that the right way to respond was by telling me which type of underwear he prefers his “ladies” to use and why. I really long explanation by the way. That was when I decided to move on myself.

A few people later I found Will. Now will was something else. We actually talked for about 5 minutes without major signs that he was a troll or a lunatic. I started to think there was hope in humanity. Nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen.

This guy legit asked me nearly 10 times to see my “tummy”. Yap. But he didn’t go about it the way you’d expect. He said “gotta ask, are you chubby?” to which I replied “depends on what you define as chubby I guess. Why the dumb question?”. Will then told me “not dumb. I like it ahah” and that’s when he said he wanted to see my stomach. Again, I normally would’ve moved on by now but I decided to just try to change the subject. Somehow his responses would always end with “so……tummy?”

Moving on a bit and he was now – in a cryptic way – asking me to pretty much watch him do his thing while I did the same. I, of course, said I did not want that and told him to move on to someone else if he really wants that. He kept insisting and then told me that if I did not want to I could just watch and also started changing the place of the camera so at that point I could see his full body.

I’m going to be honest, this one left me disappointed because during the first few minutes we actually had a nice talk. When I told him, again, that I was not into doing any of that he said “well then you can click next yourself, I have all night” and then told me to stop writing so he could stop moving closer to respond. Will then just sat there looking at the camera for a few seconds while touching his chest. I actually had to laugh at how ridiculous all of this was.

I closed the site.

So what did I learn from the hour I spent on Ome.TV? I learned that it’s not great for people with low self-esteem and that it’s pretty much Omegle but with less bots.

Just like when I spent some time Online Dating I did not meet anyone that changed my life for the better. I did just stay up till 5am that night.

Hopefully you can at least laugh at how sad and dumb this experience was because that’s why I’m now writing about it. Also, have you have used Ome.TV or even the OG Omegle? If so, have you actually met someone there that you talked for a long time?

Let me know in the comments and give suggestions for future posts in this series!

Blog Updates & Goals

Hey guys! Today I decided to do something different and definitely more lighthearted than what you’ve seen on my blog so far. As you can tell by the title I’ll be talking about some updates for the blog, as well as some hopes and goals I want to achieve in the future. I already wrote about my Personal Goals For The End Of The Summer, where I focused on aspects I want to improve in my life, so I decided to write about what I want and am trying to improve on the blog as well.

This type of post is something I’m planing on doing every now and then – maybe once a month – because I think it’s not only interesting to see the evolution of The 20 Year Old Mess, but also discuss it with you guys!

For starters I want to thank you all for the support and for following along in my journey. I started this blog in June and the amount of love I’ve already received from the blogging community is incredible. I was absolutely terrified of starting this blog and having literally no one care about it. I obviously don’t do this just to have people read it but it is a nice feeling when people like or comment your posts and seem to be enjoying them.

How far this blog has come in just two month is crazy! I had tried to become a blogger before – had two other blogs before creating this one – but I wasn’t 100% in it, so seeing the difference now that I’m dedicated is amazing. I was also worried because I’m a 19-year-old, unemployed girl from Portugal and that no one was going to care about what I have to say.

Anyways, let’s get back to the point of the post…

How The Blog Has Evolved

When I decided to get back to blogging I was genuinely prepared to have two people see it and I was okay with it because the most important thing for me right now is to write things that I like or care about. However, the fact that I now have 30 blog followers makes me incredibly happy! I know it’s not a lot to most people but, for me, it almost feels like 3000 right now.

Recently, I also reached over 100 followers on Twitter – when I first started the blog I only had 46 – and most of my new followers are a part of the blogging community.

I didn’t have any other social media before I started The 20 Year Old Mess, apart from my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts, which I don’t use to promote anything blog related for a number of reasons. So, when I created this blog, I also created accounts to promote it and post anything related to it. I’m still trying to work on my Facebook Page and how to use it better, but my Instagram account just reached 200 followers.

So far I have had such a good experience with this blog and now I’m planning on working harder to make grow and create better content.

Update + What’s To Come

This past week I’ve been thinking on how to make the blog more organized and also brainstorming a thousand ideas for posts and other projects. This is what I’m planning for now:

  • Three posts a week and Post Categories

I know this is going to definitely be a push for me but I’ll be able to make it work. I want to be more consistent, since so far I’ve been posting in a non planned way and without a set day to post. I believe I’ll be able to keep this newly set rhythm until I get a job, then maybe I’ll switch to two posts.

As you can see, if you look at the Menu at the top of the blog page, I’ve created three categories: Personal ExperiencesOpinion Posts and Movie Talk. You can take a look at what posts are a part of what categories to have a better idea of what they mean. Each category will have its own day.

Tuesday belongs to Personal Experiences, Friday to Opinion Posts and Sunday to Movie Talk. However, Sunday will also be when I’ll post anything non related to any of the categories, which means that when that happens there won’t be a Movie Talk post that week. Also, when I do a post about a personal experience, sometimes it also ends up becoming an opinion post. That was the case – for example – of my last post Online Dating: Does It Suck Or Are We Just Bad At It?. When that happens then Friday I’ll post anything not related to any of the categories.

If there are any changes, such as an occasional switch of the dates or a delay, I’ll be telling you ahead of time.

Goals + Hopes For The Future

I believe that anyone that has a blog, has their own goals. Everyone has things they want to achieve, sometimes sooner and sometimes later.

I wanted to tell you about mine because not only could you help me with some but I also find it important for you to know what I see as the future of this blog.

  • Reach 100 Blog Followers (by September 24th)

I know not everyone likes hearing about follower goals, for some odd reason. I don’t see anything wrong with having your own expectations or having certain hopes for the future of your blog. Numbers aren’t everything – that’s true – but that doesn’t mean you cannot be happy with having people appreciate your work.

I would absolutely love to have 100 followers until my birthday, but if that doesn’t happen it will only be more motivation for me to work harder.

  • Become Self Hosted

One of the most important things for you to do when creating a blog is to become self hosted. I genuinely believe that. The most important reason is that you also become the one true owner of your content and have a lot more freedom.

However, I can’t do it right now. You do have to invest in it so, when I get a stable job, I’ll take the leap.

  • Create an Email Newsletter

I absolutely love the idea of having a newsletter for you, with exclusive content and much more. I do want to have a bigger following and have everything organized to create one first though.

  • Start making money from blogging

It’s actually funny: I have to get a job to become self-hosted and have more freedom and options when it comes to creating content and having collaborators, but I also want to start making money from blogging so I can make this my job. It’s really a full circle.

I’ve been reading a lot into the many possibilities you have to make blogging your actual job. I know it won’t be easy or a quick process. Because of this, I do want to take my time with this step and not rush into any crazy ideas I could not afford to try at the moment.

  • Collaborate With Other People

Honestly, there are so many options when it comes to this. Guest writing (someone for my blog or me for theirs), co-write with other bloggers, interview someone, work with brands…Nowadays bloggers can even become brand ambassadors and it’s amazing how many opportunities are out there. I’m excited to try a lot of them, since I love working with other people. It’s also great being able to collaborate with others, specially if everyone gains or learns something with that opportunity.

I would love to have all of this goals achieved by the end of the year.

What about you? What are your goals and expectations for the future of your blog? Let me know in the comments below!