I Was Forced To Go To The Cinema – aka The Birthday Privileges

Happy Sunday! I’m actually really excited to write this post and even more excited to have completed my first week with the new posting schedule I told you about on my post about Blog Updates. As I had imagined it was a bit of a push for me to write three posts this week, but I’m sure I’ll warm up to it. I’m just excited to bring you more and more content now!

So for this Sunday’s Movie Talk there were a few things I considered writing about, including my favorite movies of all time, most anticipated upcoming releases and my guilty pleasures. Those posts are all, most likely, still going to happen but this time I decided to write about all the times I was “forced” into watching a movie and if it ended up being worth it in the end.

Now, obviously no one can force me to pay for a ticket and go to the cinema but all the movies included on this list were not films I have planned on watching, but – for a different number of reasons – I ended up having to sit down and pay to watch them. So let’s take a look at all of the reasons why I did not stay home these days.

The Birthday Privileges

I don’t know about you but me and a lot of my friends always had this unspoken rule that,, if it was your birthday, you had the right to choose what we would do. Going to the cinema always ended up being one of the planned activities and – of course – the decision of which movie to watch was also given to the person that was getting older that day.

Twilight mOVIES.jpgThanks to this rule, however, I had to watch the first and the two final Twilight movies. All of them for a different persons birthday I believe. Now, not to be a hater because Twilight was huge at the time, but the series was just not my thing. At all. Somehow I still had to watch three of those movies with my own money. I got to witness that stupid final when that one girl, whose name I won’t search just for the purpose of this sentence, had the vision of that somewhat cool fight but it turns out that’s all that it was: a freaking vision. Not only that but during Breaking Dawn Part 1 there’s the wedding and that silly montage of all of their happy moments on the honeymoon, because why the hell not. During that part of the film the long-awaited – for the fans – bedroom scene between Bella and Edward happened and I had to witness a 16-year-old sitting behind me yell “hell yeah, he could break my bed” and I haven’t been the same since.

Alright, I’m exaggerating. Those movies were silly but at least somewhat fun. That baseball scene is a classic.

The birthday rule is also the one to blame for me having to pay to watch such masterpieces as The Secret Life Of Pets, a few Adam Sandler movies and Annabelle or any other basic horror movie whose definition of horror is a cat jumping out of nowhere or some other silly jump scare.

To be fair, not all of them were awful. I also ended up watching both Conjuring movies at the cinema thanks to this rule and I really enjoyed them – specially the second one.

I also watched the last movie from the Hobbit trilogy at the cinema for a friend’s birthday. However, that one gave me a little more of work. In 2014, when the last came out, I had never watched a single Lord Of The Rings movie, let alone the first two films from the Hobbit. I still accept to go with my friend and see The Battle Of The Five Armies but she insisted that I should only go if I watched the other five movies, otherwise she wouldn’t mind going by herself. Image result for lord of the rings movies in order

Now, I’m actually a bit stupid. We planned this 2 weeks or so in advance but instead of watching one movie a day with no rush – since they are all more than two hours long – I kept postponing watching the five films on my free time. That decision lead the to have to spend an all day – the day before we were going to the cinema – watching the five movies in one sitting. That amounts to a little less than 13 hours and a half of movies.

I am glad I watched all of them because I obviously was able to understand the events of the last a lot better and I did enjoy all of them. I have re-watched the two trilogies since then however and I did like them a lot more the second viewing because I did not rush myself to see all of them in one day.

Also, the Lord Of The Rings trilogy is definitely superior to the Hobbit trilogy. Thank you.

Mia Wasikowska in Crimson Peak (2015)
Still From Crimson Peak

I also remember watching Crimson Peak at the cinema with some friends, but to be completely honest I’m not 100% sure if that was for someone’s birthday. What I do remember from that day is me sitting next to one of the girls in the group and having whine that the movie sucked the all time. She kept saying that the movie was not scary enough – probably waiting for that cat I told you about – ever though we told her the movie was not really horror but more of a thriller. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is not the greatest and it’s definitely not Guillermo Del Toro’s best work but it’s still really enjoyable and I did not get the chance to enjoy it as much as I could the first time I watched it.

What was the worst movie you had to watch because your friends wanted to? And what movie did you make your friends watch that ended up being awful?

xx

Sex Ed SUCKS

All you need to know to understand my frustration with sex education in school is that I had ONE class in 9th grade or something – it was so not helpful that I don’t even remember when it was exactly – and that class was only one hour or so.

Before I go into all of my problems with Sex Ed (not the idea of it, but the way it is) I’d like to say that I was actually working on a different post for this Friday. That post will still be posted, probably next Friday, but I want to talk about this first. Also, I want to remind some of you that I’m from Portugal and I can only speak from my experience here and specially in the school I was in. However, this is a subject I’ve seen a lot of people, from many different places, complain about so I’m sure most of you will be able to somewhat relate to the problems I have with this.

I believe most of us can agree that sex education is incredibly important and that it is something that should exist in every single school. I genuinely believe it’s important to educate the youth about sex  and everything that comes with it – from contraceptives to the possibility of STDs. It should all be talked about and discussed with the class.

Well, there brings me to my first issue and one of the biggest failures of sex education (besides the fact that it should be more than a few classes which seems to be the what most people have). It’s so incomplete and uninformative. I don’t know about you, but let me tell you about y case. During that one and only class my school gave us, we barely talked about anything we didn’t already know or that was highly important to inform us about. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is important to talk about how birth control works and how to put on a condom. It is also necessary to teach young people to prevent STDs and all that. But sex education is not just about that. There are so many things that should be talked about but instead we focus on more “basic” stuff.

Also, one of the things I’ve learned – from videos and reading a bunch of articles online – when I grew up is that STDs are actually surprisingly common. Now I’m not saying you should not try and prevent them from happening to you, what I am saying is that they were treated like this demon who would kill you by the woman that gave us the sex ed class. It was always said how evil and dangerous they are – which is fair – but what to do in case you do get one was never brought up. How serious each one is was never discussed. It always kinda sounded like “If you have unprotected sex you either get pregnant or get a horrible std so either use a condom or don’t have sex”. A piece of advice on what to do and how it not the end of the world – in some cases – if you do get and STD never happened.

Please understand I’m not defending unprotected sex – trust me! What I am saying is more that accidents happen. There’s not a contraceptive that works 100% so we should also learn what to do in the case that it does not work.

The Huffington Post wrote a few words about this that I recommend you look at to know a little bit more.

Rainbow pride flag flying in the daytime breezeSex education should also be more inclusive. At the time of that class I was still struggling a bit with my sexuality so the fact that only a heterosexual relationship was used to drive the conversation did not help at all. I think it is important to also talk about lgbt+ relationships. Not only because it’s equally as important for anyone in the community to be informed and know what to do and not to do at a young age, but also – in a way – that lack of inclusion only makes us feel like we are not the “norm” or even remotely “normal”. That’s how my confused mind felt at the time at least.

By including the lgbt+ community in that conversation and educating teens about it we would be normalizing those relationships. Because that’s what they are: normal.

When I started to think back to that class there was one thing that came to mind – Consent. The importance of knowing and respecting consent was not talked about of brought up for even a single second.

Now, I’m not going to try to teach you – mostly young adults that read my blog – what consent is. We should all know it by now. No means no and a lack of response isn’t a yes.

The thing is I was around 14/15 when I had my sex ed class – again I cannot recall when this happened, no matter how hard I am trying – and a few of my classmates were already in relationships at that time. I cannot obviously tell you about their sex life but what matters is that at that age it’s when we usually start to create relationships and many different discoveries and having our firsts and  bla bla bla. By that time there should be at least one sex education class completely dedicated to consent and how important it is to know how to recognize it, express it and/or accept it. Also, discuss how you should never expect someone to sleep with you no matter the circumstances. It doesn’t matter if you are dating or if the first time the answer was  yes. No means no.

Last but not least, I also think the class should be more interactive in the sense that questions would be welcomed and a well-informed answer would be given. Maybe even have a discussion with the rest of the students about it. Now, this might just be something that happened with my teacher – hopefully yours was better. From that one hour class we only had the last five minutes to ask questions, which ended up only being time for two questions that were answered in a rush. Also, there was a classmate that asked the teacher if she could ask her question in private, even if in another time. She was denied. I thought that was really stupid. The girl probably thought the question was embarrassing or maybe it was something personal that she did not want to tell to the all classroom and the woman was there to supposedly help us and she ended up not helping at all to be honest.

What was your experience with sex education in school? Was it better or worst than mine?

Do you think there are other things I missed, that should be talked about during sex ed? If so, what?

Happy Friday guys, hope you have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Sunday’s post! x

I Spent One Hour On Ome.TV

Happy Tuesday and welcome to my brand new series! I’ve decided to start my first ever series on this blog where I’ll spend a certain amount of time trying something new or experiencing a new app/website. Any post that will be a part of this series will have a tittle similar to “I Spent ____ (x amount of time) On ____”. I’m really excited about this and I hope you’ll enjoy reading this stories.

unnamedTo start the series I actually wanted to go to Omegle, even though I have used it before. That website was the entertainment of the 7th graders in my school. However, 5 minutes into using Omegle (only text conversation) someone pretty much just advertised the existence of Ome.TV as it being the “adult version” of Omegle. I found that incredibly hilarious since anyone that has ever used the original site knows there’s plenty of adult content in there. Still, I decided to use it because from my little revisit of Omegle I noticed that it’s full of bots and people advertising many different other type of websites or even their social media accounts.

A big difference with this version is that you cannot use a “text only” option to talk with other strangers. You are forced to video chat otherwise it does not allow you to initiate a chat. You turn on your camera, select your gender ( the only options available are female male and couple in case it’s two people using it at the same time ) and your preference of country – as in where do you want people you’ll talk to be from – although that does not quite work out. You can only choose one country or choose worldwide but when you only select one country people from other places pop up anyway.

downloadYou can type out instead of talking though, which is what I decided to do. I did not have the sound on and just wrote during the conversation because I felt more comfortable that way.

For a while I tried to cheat a little bit and didn’t have the camera pointed at my face but I quickly realized that would not work out. Most people just moved on and clicked to stop the conversation. So I decided to restart and this time around actually show my face.

I’ll be honest with you, I was nervous even if I’m not sure why. Either way I knew I needed to do it so I could at least take something out of this.

Oh I forgot to mention! I did this when I was bored at 4am! So I decided to use this site during one of my terrible insomnias…as you might imagine by now this was probably not the greatest time to give this a shot.

Anyways so I started over and this time my face was on full view. My worries about my visible double chin, how I dislike seeing myself with glasses and the fact that I looked like I haven’t slept in three days raced to see which one bothered me the most. I’d like to tell you that I’m a confident woman, but that would be lie. Obviously I was not excited to have guys masturbate on camera but having them click “next” in 0.2 seconds like I was the ugliest thing they have ever seen was not a pleasant thought either.

That did happen and I kinda wanted to stop everything right there because it seemed like I was only able to find 3 types of people: the ones that clicked away so fast you’d think they saw a monster, the ones that I was good-looking enough to see their dicks and 12-year-old boys trying to pretend they were at least 16. This site was clearly not helping my self-confidence.

I carried on though. I promised myself that I would stay for an hour, so I just kept thinking that even if I did not meet anyone remotely normal – *spoiler alert* I didn’t meet anyone normal – I could at least right one really disappointed blog post about it!

There were a few that actually were able to have a real conversation. For approximately two freaking sentences. First of all, 80% of the men that actually did try to talk to me were triple my age which EWWW. Also, all of the guys I did talk to were only really talking to me to lead it to the same place the ones masturbating on camera were. They just first said hello.

The two longest conversations I had were also, in retrospective, the most hilarious. Let’s name the guys – since I genuinely do not recall their names – John and Will. The two most basic male names to ever exist. Sorry Carl.

imagesFirst we had John. Oh dear John…what I mess. So this guy started of okay with the always used “hey, how are you?” and “where are you from?” which were a breath of fresh air considering right before I briefly had to look at a 80-year-old penis.

John was not gonna stop there though. Of course not. He thought that after that it was a great idea to ask me what type of underwear I was using. Now let me tell you something, I know initially I was not enjoying the idea of having to show my face but in that moment I realized there was something good about it. Every time I rolled my eyes or showed any signs of being done with what the guys on the site would say they could see it. They would know I think they are idiots. I did decide to respond with “none of your business” because I wanted to keep the conversations going as long as I could. I was on the mission of getting blog content okay! At that point you’d think the guy would either move on or just insist. He did neither. John thought that the right way to respond was by telling me which type of underwear he prefers his “ladies” to use and why. I really long explanation by the way. That was when I decided to move on myself.

A few people later I found Will. Now will was something else. We actually talked for about 5 minutes without major signs that he was a troll or a lunatic. I started to think there was hope in humanity. Nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen.

This guy legit asked me nearly 10 times to see my “tummy”. Yap. But he didn’t go about it the way you’d expect. He said “gotta ask, are you chubby?” to which I replied “depends on what you define as chubby I guess. Why the dumb question?”. Will then told me “not dumb. I like it ahah” and that’s when he said he wanted to see my stomach. Again, I normally would’ve moved on by now but I decided to just try to change the subject. Somehow his responses would always end with “so……tummy?”

Moving on a bit and he was now – in a cryptic way – asking me to pretty much watch him do his thing while I did the same. I, of course, said I did not want that and told him to move on to someone else if he really wants that. He kept insisting and then told me that if I did not want to I could just watch and also started changing the place of the camera so at that point I could see his full body.

I’m going to be honest, this one left me disappointed because during the first few minutes we actually had a nice talk. When I told him, again, that I was not into doing any of that he said “well then you can click next yourself, I have all night” and then told me to stop writing so he could stop moving closer to respond. Will then just sat there looking at the camera for a few seconds while touching his chest. I actually had to laugh at how ridiculous all of this was.

I closed the site.

So what did I learn from the hour I spent on Ome.TV? I learned that it’s not great for people with low self-esteem and that it’s pretty much Omegle but with less bots.

Just like when I spent some time Online Dating I did not meet anyone that changed my life for the better. I did just stay up till 5am that night.

Hopefully you can at least laugh at how sad and dumb this experience was because that’s why I’m now writing about it. Also, have you have used Ome.TV or even the OG Omegle? If so, have you actually met someone there that you talked for a long time?

Let me know in the comments and give suggestions for future posts in this series!

Blog Updates & Goals

Hey guys! Today I decided to do something different and definitely more lighthearted than what you’ve seen on my blog so far. As you can tell by the title I’ll be talking about some updates for the blog, as well as some hopes and goals I want to achieve in the future. I already wrote about my Personal Goals For The End Of The Summer, where I focused on aspects I want to improve in my life, so I decided to write about what I want and am trying to improve on the blog as well.

This type of post is something I’m planing on doing every now and then – maybe once a month – because I think it’s not only interesting to see the evolution of The 20 Year Old Mess, but also discuss it with you guys!

For starters I want to thank you all for the support and for following along in my journey. I started this blog in June and the amount of love I’ve already received from the blogging community is incredible. I was absolutely terrified of starting this blog and having literally no one care about it. I obviously don’t do this just to have people read it but it is a nice feeling when people like or comment your posts and seem to be enjoying them.

How far this blog has come in just two month is crazy! I had tried to become a blogger before – had two other blogs before creating this one – but I wasn’t 100% in it, so seeing the difference now that I’m dedicated is amazing. I was also worried because I’m a 19-year-old, unemployed girl from Portugal and that no one was going to care about what I have to say.

Anyways, let’s get back to the point of the post…

How The Blog Has Evolved

When I decided to get back to blogging I was genuinely prepared to have two people see it and I was okay with it because the most important thing for me right now is to write things that I like or care about. However, the fact that I now have 30 blog followers makes me incredibly happy! I know it’s not a lot to most people but, for me, it almost feels like 3000 right now.

Recently, I also reached over 100 followers on Twitter – when I first started the blog I only had 46 – and most of my new followers are a part of the blogging community.

I didn’t have any other social media before I started The 20 Year Old Mess, apart from my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts, which I don’t use to promote anything blog related for a number of reasons. So, when I created this blog, I also created accounts to promote it and post anything related to it. I’m still trying to work on my Facebook Page and how to use it better, but my Instagram account just reached 200 followers.

So far I have had such a good experience with this blog and now I’m planning on working harder to make grow and create better content.

Update + What’s To Come

This past week I’ve been thinking on how to make the blog more organized and also brainstorming a thousand ideas for posts and other projects. This is what I’m planning for now:

  • Three posts a week and Post Categories

I know this is going to definitely be a push for me but I’ll be able to make it work. I want to be more consistent, since so far I’ve been posting in a non planned way and without a set day to post. I believe I’ll be able to keep this newly set rhythm until I get a job, then maybe I’ll switch to two posts.

As you can see, if you look at the Menu at the top of the blog page, I’ve created three categories: Personal ExperiencesOpinion Posts and Movie Talk. You can take a look at what posts are a part of what categories to have a better idea of what they mean. Each category will have its own day.

Tuesday belongs to Personal Experiences, Friday to Opinion Posts and Sunday to Movie Talk. However, Sunday will also be when I’ll post anything non related to any of the categories, which means that when that happens there won’t be a Movie Talk post that week. Also, when I do a post about a personal experience, sometimes it also ends up becoming an opinion post. That was the case – for example – of my last post Online Dating: Does It Suck Or Are We Just Bad At It?. When that happens then Friday I’ll post anything not related to any of the categories.

If there are any changes, such as an occasional switch of the dates or a delay, I’ll be telling you ahead of time.

Goals + Hopes For The Future

I believe that anyone that has a blog, has their own goals. Everyone has things they want to achieve, sometimes sooner and sometimes later.

I wanted to tell you about mine because not only could you help me with some but I also find it important for you to know what I see as the future of this blog.

  • Reach 100 Blog Followers (by September 24th)

I know not everyone likes hearing about follower goals, for some odd reason. I don’t see anything wrong with having your own expectations or having certain hopes for the future of your blog. Numbers aren’t everything – that’s true – but that doesn’t mean you cannot be happy with having people appreciate your work.

I would absolutely love to have 100 followers until my birthday, but if that doesn’t happen it will only be more motivation for me to work harder.

  • Become Self Hosted

One of the most important things for you to do when creating a blog is to become self hosted. I genuinely believe that. The most important reason is that you also become the one true owner of your content and have a lot more freedom.

However, I can’t do it right now. You do have to invest in it so, when I get a stable job, I’ll take the leap.

  • Create an Email Newsletter

I absolutely love the idea of having a newsletter for you, with exclusive content and much more. I do want to have a bigger following and have everything organized to create one first though.

  • Start making money from blogging

It’s actually funny: I have to get a job to become self-hosted and have more freedom and options when it comes to creating content and having collaborators, but I also want to start making money from blogging so I can make this my job. It’s really a full circle.

I’ve been reading a lot into the many possibilities you have to make blogging your actual job. I know it won’t be easy or a quick process. Because of this, I do want to take my time with this step and not rush into any crazy ideas I could not afford to try at the moment.

  • Collaborate With Other People

Honestly, there are so many options when it comes to this. Guest writing (someone for my blog or me for theirs), co-write with other bloggers, interview someone, work with brands…Nowadays bloggers can even become brand ambassadors and it’s amazing how many opportunities are out there. I’m excited to try a lot of them, since I love working with other people. It’s also great being able to collaborate with others, specially if everyone gains or learns something with that opportunity.

I would love to have all of this goals achieved by the end of the year.

What about you? What are your goals and expectations for the future of your blog? Let me know in the comments below!

Online Dating: Does It Suck Or Are We Just Bad At It?

Online dating. The modern meeting at a bar…just without the liquid courage. One thing that remains though is the creepy and unwanted conversations.

I gave online dating apps a shot for approximately 3 months. During those months I learned some valuable lessons and was able to recognize the different types of people who visit these apps. To be fair, there are some people who are there to build more meaningful relationships. I also do not have any problem with the ones that don’t, if you want something casual it’s totally fine. My problem is when things aren’t made clear from the start. I can’t even tell you how many times I wasted my time talking to someone for nothing.

There are some things I believe I should clarify before we go into my experience with this new method of meeting people.

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  • I used the apps OkCupid and YouLove – which isn’t as well-known I think – I did not use the dating app of all dating apps aka Tinder because it was too heavy on my phone (I’m a looser and have an Android)
  • I did not use both apps at the same time. I first started with OkCupid but then deleted it when I became sick of it. When I decided to give these type of apps another chance I did not want to use that same account or create a new one so I found YouLove.
  • As I’ve discussed previously I’ve never been in a relationship. That isn’t really common for dating app users, I believe, so I always made that clear during the conversations.
  • I also made it clear on both of my profiles that I was looking for either a friendship (HAHA) or a more serious relationship. As you might imagine, since I’ve never had a serious relationship, I was not really open to having one night stands or something similar.
  • I identify as bisexual but on my profiles I never specified my sexuality and only really talked to guys at the time. I made that decision because if something were to come out of it, it could somewhat affect my life since I’m not out to my family.

Now that I gave you all of this information and clarified the circumstances in which I was, let’s talk about my experience for those three months.

The Apps In General

I do think it is important to say that the apps do work well and I don’t have some major problem with the way they were set up. I do think OkCupid does have a much better algorithm and it’s easier to find people you might agree with. YouLove doesn’t have that many users – at least here in Portugal – and if you don’t match with people they still show up on your profile a lot. OkCupid also has the positive of having the possibility of answering a trillion questions and then they give you a percentage of how compatible you are with someone, taking into account the answers you gave. If those percentages are completely accurate…who the hell knows, but I still enjoy the way it’s set up better than YouLove.

One thing that did annoy me in both apps was that I obviously put that a lived in Portugal on the settings and they even asked from where should the profiles presented to you be from. You can usually even say from how far you wouldn’t mind the guys being from. However, for some weird reason, profiles from all over Europe would pop up.

The Type Of Guys That Messaged Me/Wanted To Match With Me

As I swiped left and right I started to notice some common things about the users of both apps. From the pictures they used to the information they shared on their profile. Even more interesting was seeing the type of guys my profile seemed to attract.

There were the classics which are those who only have one picture attached to their profile that had a bigger focus on their abs than anything else. If you were lucky you could see a bit of their chin. A variation of this is having a million pictures and all of them being just like the one I just described.

In other cases I would see guys that a reasonable number of pictures – for context I think I had four pics in my profiles – but then wouldn’t really say anything in their profiles. That would be trickier on YouLove since that app doesn’t even show a percentage of how “compatible” you are. I don’t think you should tell your all life story on your profile but you have to give a little more than your name.

Some guys also, hilariously in my opinion, where using these apps to promote their other social media. That would be everything they would have on their description. I had guys message me just saying “Hey, I don’t really use this. Here’s my IG, follow me there to talk”. I never really did.

Last but not least I had men double, sometimes triple, my age trying to talk to me. The thing about these apps is that people can message you even if you haven’t matched with them yet, so that would give these men the opportunity – that I would never personally give them – to try to talk to me. Men with 2 kids, men that were older than my dad would message me like I would be interested. It’s also important for me to say that I also made my age clear on my profile so they were aware that I was barely legal. They would send stuff like “hey gorgeous, don’t you think you need a MAN in your life?”.

I have to admit, some people on these apps almost made me laugh. Others were just creepy.

The Type Of Guys I Talked To

I genuinely believe one of the biggest problems with dating apps is the type of people who do use it. From guys trolling during half the conversation to asking nudes after 0.2 seconds into a conversation. It’s definitely an interesting environment to say the least.

There’s a way to do things I think and the way a lot of people handle conversations over there is not the correct way. You say no to something and received the classic “you’re ugly anyway”. Well man, it looks to me like you were the one matching and messaging with an ugly girl then.

Here are all the different types of conversations I had on OkCupid and YouLove

  • The hit and quit it

This one is definitely interesting. I’d match with someone and they would message me “Hi” or something. I would respond just to not get any another response. My theory is that these guys would literally try to match with everyone and send a bunch of messages waiting for girls to respond. When the girls they messaged responded back they would then decide who they would be interested in.

It’s this or it was a bunch of bots.

  • The troll

Trolls are a fascinating species for me. On dating apps or not. Imagine wasting your time with something so dumb? Anyways…

Trolling in these case could honestly be anything. From professing their love for me two minutes into their conversation to asking me to go lay with them because they are “the best company”. From calling me a b*tch because I said I was rolling my eyes at their stupidity to a guy that blocked me after sending me a bunch of messages talking crap and having me telling him is life must be sad, just to unblock me every now and then to say “you’re still an ugly whore”. Saying these people are stupid is an understatement.

I’ll never understand what internet trolls are trying to accomplish or what they find amusing about what they do. I don’t think anyone knows.

  • The coming in hot

I think you can all guess what I mean with this. I always tried to be careful with the people I matched with, always making an effort to read their bios and all of that. Still, these guys always made into my mentions somehow.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think asking for nudes after only saying “hello, how are you?” to me is a good way to go about things.

As I said throughout this post, I don’t have anything against people wanting a casual thing. My problem is only that some people would say something in their profiles and then act a completely different way when you have a conversation with them.

Even worst was when they could not take a no for an answer. Some were just like “okay…” and didn’t say anything, which is funny. Others, however, would only call me a prude and ask why not. When I would insist that isn’t something I’m going to do, I would be hit with the classic “you must be fat”.

  • The “they’re so weird” you can’t quite tell

This is kinda a mix between the previous two. These would be the guys so outrageous you would think they would be trolling but, at the same time, after a while made think they were actually serious.

  • The ones that make it unclear

I already lightly talked about this one, but I think it’s worth to say more.

This was my biggest problem with the apps. I would match with someone and meet a completely different person in the conversation.

Usually these apps let you say what you are looking for and that is made public on your profile. Mine would say I was either looking for a relationship or just a friendship/meeting people. I always tried to match with the people who said the same thing.

Halfway into talking to them though, I would start to realize that wasn’t what they were really there for. You can call me naive, I admit I am. What can I say? I hope people are at least honest since it’s definitely not a strange thing to use apps like Tinder to meet a booty call.

  • The one that had a trillion accounts

I only met one guy, on YouLove, that was like this – but I found this so funny that I decided to talk about it.

I matched with this guys and we talked for a bit. Nothing really came out of it so after a day or two we stopped talking. When I stopped talking to a certain guy there I wouldn’t delete the conversation or unmatch them – so our conversation remained there.

I didn’t even remembered talking to this guy when, while I was doing some swiping, a profile popped up. I thought “okay he’s cute” but when I opened his profile I started to look at his other pics and that’s when I realized he looked familiar. I went to my conversations and found his profile – his other profile.

I just didn’t match with that new profile and didn’t think much of it at the time. The only thing I thought was that maybe he had forgotten his password or something.

That was until a bunch of profiles of the same guy started to appear. They all used the same name and all of the same information. I swear I saw around 10 profiles. Even more weird was that after a bit I started to get messages of a lot of those profiles.

I didn’t respond a lot of the times, until I got curious. So when I got a simple greeting from yet another profile of the same person I responded just saying “hey”. The guy kept talking to me like he had never seen my profile.

I finally asked him why did he have so many profiles and he said he was always changing phones. So he had over 10 phones in a month? Couldn’t he just sign up with an older account? He just said it’s how he uses the app. Whatever that means.

You would think it would end there. It didn’t. He then asked me why I never said anything else in our original conversation. I was honest and said I wasn’t really feeling it and was not interested in talking more. He just responded with an okay.

Two days later I received a “Hello.” from his 11th profile.

  • The okay’s

There were some guys that initially seemed great. The conversation would be working and none of them were acting like weirdos. After a while it would stop though.

The conversation just wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Hey what’s up.”

“Nothing. What about u?”

“Nothing much”

“Okay”

This isn’t my definition of a conversation.

  • The few that made it out of the apps

There were very few that made it out of the app. Most of them would follow me on my personal Instagram. Even fewer got my Whatsapp. You have to give the person your number for that and that isn’t something I wanted to give to a lot of them.

I don’t talk with anyone I met on OkCupid or YouLove now. Most of them ended up suffering the same destiny that the guys in the last category did. It just took longer to get to that point.

I just wouldn’t have anything to talk with them about and no one was really trying to make an effort to talk to be honest.

There were three guys that I gave my WhatsApp to. They deserve their own post though. These cases ended up being so dramatic, chaotic or just straight up dumb. I’ll definitely make a post titled “The WhatsApp Guys” or something in the future.

Final Thoughts

All of these guys either entertained/amused me or made me question my hope in humanity. A few of them were actually somewhat worth it, at least for a bit.

I did not find the love of my life though.

I don’t think I’ll be giving online dating another try, at least in the near future. I’ll try to meet people the old-fashioned way for now.

Does this mean I think it’s impossible to meet people and build relationships through dating apps? No. I do think you have to be willing to dig through all of the dirt for a while though.

I am curious. Have you tried online dating? How did it work out for you? Did you meet the love or your life or did you quit after a week? Let me know about your experience in the comments! Also, let me know your title ideas for the future post about those three guys.

Personal Goals For The End Of The Summer

I’ve briefly discussed this on my post about The Problem With Job Interviews so as you might already know I’m unemployed. Today I’ve been sending some resumes with the hopes to change that and this lead me to start reflecting on my summer this year.

I haven’t been doing many productive things to be completely honest. Me and my family were moving out for a bit but that doesn’t really excuse my laziness this year. I have not gone out with any friends all summer and I barely leave the house. A lot does have to do with some more personal events that have happened recently, but I’m sick of it by now. I’m just home all day, cooking and cleaning the house and taking care of the animals while everyone else is out either working or actually having fun.

I have now decided that I want to change the way my life has been going for some time now. That is what I want to tell you about in this post. Summer is almost done now – we have pretty much a month left – so here’s three things I want to get done or start the process of getting it done by the end of the summer.

Get A Job

I don’t know how believable this might sound to the general public but I really want to get a job. Yes, having my own money is definitely one of the reasons. In fact, it’s quite an important reason if I want to go to college anytime soon. But it isn’t the only reason. I’m really tired of not doing anything so getting out of the house, even if it’s for work, sounds like the greatest time for me right now. I’m sure I’ll change my mind by the time I actually start working with a set schedule but it’s still highly important for me to get a job before I turn 20 in September.

Getting a job will help me save money for college and my driver’s licence, buy things for myself without depending on my parents money and with the other two goals that I have.

Start My Weight Lost Journey

To be quite honest, my weight lost journey has started and stopped a couple of times by now. This time around though, I really am going to try to commit to it. I don’t really want to lose a lot of weight – maybe 15 kilos which is around 33 pounds I believe – and I also do not expect to lose all of it by September. I want to at least start a healthier diet and begin working out. I’ll begin by going on a little run in the morning and go from there. Getting a job it’s also somewhat important for this, because it would help me join a gym and start a diet that my family probably won’t follow with me.

My weight is something I’ve always struggled with. I win it really easily but it is quite hard for me to lose it. This created a lack of self-confidence for me for a long time, which has obviously affected some aspects of my life, like my difficulty in relationships (romantic or not). I want to become more confident in myself because that ultimately will make me happier.

When I do begin this journey, I’ll also start a series on this blog about it.

Take Care Of My Mental Health

This is a trickier topic and that could go on for a while. I’ll give you the shortened version though. There are people in my family with mental illnesses and besides my anxiety disorder, which I’ve discusses on the blog before, I have come to realize that I most likely suffer from something else. I do not want to clarify what because a big part of taking care of it is realizing what it is exactly that I have. That’s what I want to comprehend by the end of the summer. I do have my own idea of what it might be, considering family history, but I don’t want to say it is something now and then be wrong.

I’m definitely worried about this, as you might suspect. It is scary to know something is wrong with you. The goal is the get help and come to terms with it. I know it’s hard, some people I know were never able to do it, but I don’t want to follow the same path.

From all of these topics, this one is the one that I’m sure won’t be resolved by September. It won’t even be solved by the end of this decade. I do realize this is going to be something I’ll always struggle with, but I’m hoping and slowly but surely it will get better to live with.

My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

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To this day I have never met someone who was able to tell me their first kiss was actually good or romantic or even just remotely okay. If you were lucky enough to have a positive experience I admire you.

The story behind my first kiss is not only awkward but also actually sad. It really is something I wish I wouldn’t have done, but I was an idiot at the time.

Let’s start with a bit of a back story so when I tell you how it happened it makes at least some sense. I was in 7th grade at the time, which means I was 13 years old. At that point in my life I was still being bullied in school – something I want to make a post about someday when I feel more comfortable – but I had a little group of friends. This might seem irrelevant but the reason I am telling you this is because thanks to that bullying I was really shy and introverted in school. I don’t even know how I made those few friends that I did have. At that time in my life I was the type of kid that didn’t want to raise my hand during class even if I knew an answer or was not understanding something. I barely talked. All this facts are relevant to this story because by now you should be thinking: how the hell did this girl have her first kiss?

photo-1504196877113-b6ec66380c41It was not during a spin the bottle game or a dare. It was with my first “boyfriend”. In fact it was on the day he became my “boyfriend”. Now you should also know that – to me – any relationship you have before you are 15 or 16 usually doesn’t even count. They are silly. This one was no different and it’s definitely worth its own blog post in the future, because I have so many dumb stories from that time.

HOW HE BECAME MY BOYFRIEND

For starters this guy had previously dated a friend of mine. Exactly, at thirteen I broke the girl code but this gets better. At first he didn’t even ask me to be his girlfriend in person. He went to that one friend he had dated before and asked her to ask me to date him. RIDICULOUS. Even more ridiculous? She did. She came up to me and popped the question. I found it stupid to be passing the message through her that I wouldn’t accept unless he asked me in person. The ridiculousness does not stop there though. Remember when I said I barely spoke? Yeah me and my anxiety ran to class after that to run away from him because I was too nervous. The next recess I tried to hide the best that I could, until one of my friends told me to stop and get this over with – she was right.

So that last recess was over and we had to go to class but he found me and my friend when we were going to class. He finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. We stared at each other like a bunch of idiots. I hate this story.

THE KISS

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My friend – the one who told me that I should stop hiding – was still with us during the anticlimactic question. She was probably annoyed with both of us, but mostly me. I just mumbled “okay” and was ready to go up the stars and go to class, since we were already late by now. That’s when my friend – bless her heart – said “That’s it? All of this mess and you’re just going to do this? Not even a kiss? You barely even looked at each other!”

Oh how she was right. This lead me to stop walking and look at him. There was no profound looking in each others eyes or holding hands. No sir. Our lips met for what I think was 1 millisecond and then we both went to class. We didn’t say anything. Just kissed and walked away.

That was the beginning of my first “relationship”. Needless to say…it didn’t last.